Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Baseball Complex

Author's note: This assignment was a conclusion to a paragraph. This is a good conclusion because I express myself well. Please comment on my expression/ voice.

They are never going to put the new baseball complex in because they are just to scared to get it started. They already paid for the land and everything but has been two years late and all that sits there is a empty field. The government keeps pushing back the date and people are getting mad. Some day I would have hoped to play there but I will never be able too.

1 comment:

  1. Your voice sounds bitter and frustrated. I can see that this is a subject that is important to you. As a conclusion, this is good. One thing you might consider in future essays is to leave your examples in the body of the essay and devote paragraphs to them.

    ReplyDelete